Как я был таргетологом…
10.11.2020Ну вот. Мосты сожжены. В смысле бабки отдал за обучение. Двадцать тысяч почти. Без десяти рублей. Всё не двадцать… А так отдал бы двадцать и что? А так десять рябчиков в копилочку, хе-хе. Сегодня десять, завтра десять, послезавтра опять же и потом ещё. К концу года 3650 рублей. Выгода бесспорная. Через семь лет на пенсию, а тут раз и двадцать пять тысяч пятьсот пятьдесят рублей. А если високосный учесть, то ещё десять рубликов плюсом. Перспектива…
Обучаюсь значит. Удалённо. А то коронавирус бродит. Злой сволочь. Все по домам попрятались. В общем учатся люди. Или бухают, хрен их знает. На работу ходить не надо. Буханул и учись себе спокойно. А я не пью. Сижу перед компом трезвый как сукин сын и не пью. Не хочу. Давно уже. Дня два. Да и где тут выпить, когда коуч чешет как Тина Канделаки. Одно отматываю, чтоб ещё раз послушать. И деньги считаю. Сколько потратил на познание fasebook и instagram минус что мог бы пропить. Профицит несомненный.
И так каждый день, две недели кряду. Урок, соцсети, домашнее задание, в магазин, маску одень, маску сними, домой – пожрать, поспать, да ещё клиента искать надо. А где ж его, чёрта, найдёшь? Хорошо знакомых много. Все по хатам. В носу ковыряются. А что делать? Пандемия, изоляция то есть. Рекламу? Рекламу надо. Деньги? Какие деньги? Ладно, бесплатно сделаю. Потренируюсь. Руку набью, чтобы потом морду не набили.
Сайт поправить? На смартфонах некорректно отражается? А как это? Мать твою! Вбей свой сайт на смартфоне и посмотри! Не-е мне этого не надо. У меня без этого сто шестьдесят семь благодарностей. А рекламу давай, ага. Чего ты? А пошёл ты в жопу, вот чего! Другому сделал. За деньги. На интернет хватило. Зато он мне рекламу сделал, в сарафане. И попёр клиент. Учёбу временно заморозил. Копилка лопнула. Деньги везде. Ящик открыл – вот они. Подушку поднял – и тут тоже! В общем, долги раздал и даже немного осталось.
И тут бац! Аккаунт в fasebook заблокировали. За излишнюю активность. Прослушал бы курс до конца, знал бы как себя в буржуинском логове вести. А теперь нужны, как минимум, другие интернет и компьютер. Цукерберг сволочь. Ладно… Что-нибудь придумаю, соображу. Главное, как говорил Остап, – «Деньги у подопечного есть. И деньги, судя по всему, немаленькие».
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